Pretender

It’s 9:52. The night is young yet the house is full. People are coming in and out of the front door. On a dim corner, behind the gate, a man is throwing up.

“I need a drink,” he thought of storming in but stopped at the sight a familiar face.

Five years— she never changed. Laughing with her head back, he guesses her black shirt still carries a statement. Like “Down With Big Brother” or “Go Queer”.

“Don’t,” the word came late and before he knew it, he was walking towards the one who got away. The dice is rolled. Fuck what ifs and the mutilated could-have-beens.

“On the worst-case scenario, at least I can act as drunk fool.”

---

Took this photo on a poetry night at a local coffee shop here in Cebu. The place was filled with too many hopeless romantics that night.

Coffee and A Little Bit of Pain

I was holding a cup of coffee when I heard her spitting curses from the other room. She was sitting in front of the mirror when I came in, her face buried on a Sylvia Plath. “What happened?” I asked.

She looked at me from her reflection with an expression I couldn’t read, “I’m happy.”

This girl is insane. I try to read her mind but fail. Like I always do.

“It’s too much,” she plainly stated as she flipped through the pages of The Bell Jar. “I keep reading these lines but nothing’s working.”

She has always been fascinated with sad stories and sad songs and everything that has to do with sadness. “What is wrong with being happy?” I asked.

She walked right to me, tiptoed and gave me a kiss. “Nothing, of course. But art doesn’t work that way. I need coffee. And a little bit of pain.”

---

It has been a long while blogosphere!! I miss you badly. 😭

I can never say I’ve been out for the reason that life was giving me a hard time because, truth is, I was kicking life in the butt. The past months have been nothing but blessings. And while happiness is not a bad thing, I find it hard to get back into writing. For years my muse fed on sadness and the creatures in the dark. How am supposed to handle this too much joy? Please wait for me. 🍃❤️📝

Finding Simple Joy: A Visit to AO Farm

January was a month for me-time, poetry, and crafts. In the past weeks, I have gone to places but have missed a lot of pages. Hence, I made a promise to laze around with muse.

But, despite the perks of solitude, some things are hard to resist. After an incessant request by Shiela, whose feet are giddy to get back on the trails, we headed to the mountains with Jovy.

Tres Marias out to be one with nature!

2 of 20 Spartan 😀

Pa-bukid si Maria

I was feeling sad yesterday when I found that the concert tickets for December Avenue were sold out. Their music has always been my go-to playlist and I have long wanted to see this local band perform upfront. But time is not on my side, it seems. *cries*

Anyway, as I was nursing a broken heart, I received an email announcing that my entry for AkongSugbo’s photo essay contest won the runner up. One word: unbelievable! Despite my hesitations, I joined the contest last November just for the fun of it. I have always been a hopeless romantic and my muse was nudging me to write something at that time. What a surprise!

And because I’m feeling happy (still a little sad about the concert), I am sharing this entry with you. 🙂 P.S. It was written in our local dialect, Bisaya. I translated it to English but I find it weird. Haha. My apologies.

Here goes something…

SYW – The Untamed

So, I’ve decided to join the fun at Cee’s Share Your World Challenge. Here’s for Week 1.

What one word describes you best?

Untamed. I was once asked before in the Rule of Eleven tag to give one word that describes me and I think this hasn’t changed through time.

What is set as the background on your computer?

I do not have a computer with me and my laptop’s long dead so I’m sharing my phone’s wallpaper instead.

This is my phone’s lock screen which reminds me of the things I love, books and poetry. I also love the mystery behind this photo. It makes me think that, like our phones, one needs to know the password to get to know us more.

If you have been to a foreign country name those you have been too?

I haven’t been outside the PH yet. But it’s on my list come 2019. *fingers crossed*

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

Before 2017 ended, I decided to go on a solo trip. I’m used to being alone and doing stuff by myself but that was the first time I had to cross oceans just for a sweet escape. I went to see the gorgeous hills of Alicia, Bohol and I came back with a heart filled with joy. I have learned not to let people or circumstances disable me from doing things that I want. That I should live in my own pace and not with somebody else’s. And lastly, that I should not look for happiness but instead create it.

 

YAY! That’s all the tidbits for now. 😉

Losing Poetry in the Hush

I often have a tendency to look at life from a poetic point of view. From sunrays piercing through canopies to a solitary mug in a coffee shop. I look at things, people, and moments— and poetry just comes easy at times.

Waterfalls, in particular, tend to draw my not-so cheery muse in. Maybe it’s the downpour but, nevertheless, these cascading beauties never fail to sweep me off my feet in the literal and figurative sense.

Working oceans away from home, I always look forward to my planned vacations. This time, I begged (yes, begged) my sister and cousins to take me to Karap-agan Falls. Thankfully, they gave in. Just two municipalities from my hometown, Hilongos, I went on a roadtrip with the gang.

Slowly making its way into the limelight is Matalom’s very own hidden paradise, the Karap-agan Falls. Locally known as Mahayahay Falls is the two-tiered waterfall tucked in the fringes of baranggay Caridad Norte.

Just gorgeous ❤

Amidst All Chaos

Amidst all chaos, you will find her standing at the intersection. Staring blankly at the come and go’s, the to and fro’s. A girl who became too tired to take a step and to observe the traffic lights for she had followed them a hundred times before. Only to be left a fool.

Stop. Ready. Go.

When you find her, you will see all the signal lights in her eyes. You will hear about the stops she took just because the world said she can’t. And that she mustn’t. On how her voice faded into silence because she listened to the whining siren of the people instead to the beat of her heart.

You will hear about the times she spent waiting for the light to signal ready. On how she whispered to herself with fists clenched, “Yes, you can.” On how long she waited for a hint that love is ready for her and that she is ready for love. But it never came.

You will hear about the crash. On how she braved to cross the highway despite her trembling knees but no matter how cautious she was, some people just came speeding through with a blaring light. And she was left to do the only thing she can— she faced the blow head on.

Amidst all chaos, you will find her standing with a bag full of messy past. Staring blankly at the come and go’s, the to and fro’s. A girl who longs to break the rules and, for once, set her own course. When you find her, you will have the choice to leave. But amidst all her chaos, she waits for someone who will have the guts stay.

Stop. Ready. Go.

---

From one hopeless hopeful romantic to another, hope you enjoy it. See you at the intersection! 😉

 

Nights and Lights and Silent Cries

Nights and Lights and Silent Cries

Beneath the deepening sky
On an empty street veiled by nighttime
Her eyes lay lost in the lights
And the world was muted
Not even the wind dared to howl

Drawn to the trail of light
She wandered—
And wondered
With the lights grooving before her
Why do tears fall from her eyes?

---

In response to dVerse’s Poetics: Groove hosted by Lillian.

A few weeks ago, a certain voldemort and I went out to the busy streets around IT Park to shoot the trail of lights from passing cars. I have always love long walks and quiet nights but during that time, it was different. My senses were all aware of the noise, the lights, and the chill of the night. Perhaps it has something to do with my agyrophobia or something else. Nonetheless, the shoot turned out all right. Looking at the pictures, though, made me think: despite the colors of the night, there will always be someone looking at them with sad eyes. Which led me to this piece.

Head over here to join the fun!

Mt. Mago: A journey to Cebu’s very own Shire… and more

It was not so long ago when Mt. Manunggal and Mt. Mauyog left my friends and I in a destitute (but delightful) state, but here we are again: rushing to the north bus terminal, all set and ready for another day of fun and adventure. Where to now?

We already have hiked to the south for a heart-warming cause. This time, the gang decided to face the north— specifically, to see what the municipality of Carmen has to offer. Travelling with me were the usual faces Shiela, Juju, Marc and Zan. The adventure was led by the one and only idol  wanderer, Reymund. It was also great to meet new travel buddies in Mel, Fons, Justin and Micah. YAY!

Our bus trip took less than two hours before reaching the town of Carmen. We actually arrived earlier than expected which gave us enough time for a quick breakfast and buying essentials. What made this trip extra special is that none of us has set foot in Mt. Mago. The thought of wandering (and getting lost) to the unknown makes our hearts beat with excitement.

Gorgeous trees on the way to Brgy. Santican. Photo credits: Marc