Blog Update: Back, maybe?

Or more like trying to be.

Hello, you!

If somehow this blog post passed the algorithm and made it to your reader, I hope you are having a good day.

Truth is I don’t know where to start. A simple post won’t suffice to explain my long AWOL here. I tried to keep this site alive by sharing snippets of my life outdoors. It became the short wick keeping my candle aflame. But those who know me well knows that the soul of Doodles&Scribbles is poetry. And my muse is still in deep slumber.

Anyway, I am continuously learning the art of slowing down. Of not putting too much pressure on myself. It’s still a tedious daily task though, but we’ll get there one day.

The last time I wrote and completed a piece was March when I published Driftwood wishes and indigo dreams. It was a very personal entry triggered by anxiety and guilt, which I still carry to this day. Most days I am fine but, occasionally, emotions become too overwhelming. So I made myself scarce. We all have our inner battles and not everyone has the emotional bandwidth to help others with their burden. Hence, my silence.

Now back to this update. I’m taking the first steps to writing again — re-reading my old posts, reworking my old drafts. Hope to connect with you all again!

Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Let love shine

“Love, whether newly born or aroused from a deathlike slumber, must always create sunshine, filling the heart so full of radiance, that it overflows upon the outward world.”

― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

Nathaniel Hawthorne died, on this day, in 1864. May this quote awaken the spirit of love within us all in these trying times when anger, hate and fear are at its height.

Psalm 143:6

I dream in fast forward
Of that which never was
My pale, moon-drenched skin
Shiver ‘neath the grieving stars

I wait in quiet desperation
Feeling nothing of the real world
Seeing only that which
I have not yet held

Between midnight breaths — a poem
Reviving my half dead hope
I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.

Wrap-Up | April 2021

May the 4th be with you!

…and also be with me because I badly need it in these lazy days. April went as swift as it arrived and here I am with a late monthly wrap-up.

So without further ado, here goes..

Things I’ve written…

April has been a busy month for me outside blogging. I have not written much this month, despite the world celebrating National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo).

• Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood by William Wordsworth
• this time, i found my breath.

Books I’ve read…

Started The Red Tent by Anita Diamant during the Holy Week and it was satisfying read up to the end. Wrote a review — Book Review: The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

As for my book haul, I received two copies of Atwood on World Book and Copyright Day from The Book Snoop. Those who know me well know that I’m impulsive when it comes to books. When I see it, I get it — so long as I find it a worthy deal. However, these two were the first ones that I waited longest. I completed the 30-day rule, a challenge I personally set (just because), before I decided to finally take them. Waiting was a roller-coaster of emotions. I was anxious. I was impatient. But in the end, all the wait was worth it!

• The Blind Assassin (Php 249)
• Alias Grace (Php 399)

Alias Grace, the miniseries, is also available on Netflix for those who prefer to watch the movie first before reading.

Places I’ve been…

Went on two day hikes this earlier in April. One in Liloan’s Lataban Hills, and the other along the Naga-Minglanilla loop.

Typhoon Surigae, known in the Philippines as Typhoon Bising, however, completely turned out plans around later on. We ought to visit Camotes Island but since sea voyages were suspended, we had to make a last-minute Plan B. We decided to go to San Remegio and spend the weekend at Maayo Resort, a Caribbean-inspired resort in this northwestern part of Cebu. It may not be the weekend we expected but it was definitely fun! 😁

Here are some videos from our trips.

Day Hike at Naga-Minglanilla Loop

Camotes Island Adventure Gone Wrong

Wrap-Up | March 2021

We marched into the month of March to celebrate the true beauty and strength of women. Yet, across the world, the number of oppressed and abused women continues to climb at a fast rate. Here in the Philippines, incest and rape soared high during the pandemic. The culture of mysogyny and sexism is an all-day meal. It’s tiring.

And who would have thought, we’d have a dejavu of last year’s trauma. While the rest of the world is trying to move forward, my country — guess what — is still in chaos. There’s too much politics, greed and miscommunication. I could rant and list how fucked we are now but that won’t change a thing.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that March has not been too great for me. Here’s a quick look back:

Things I’ve written…

Creative writing has been hard for me lately. My one and only poem this month was triggered by a recent issue about our Tatay Digs who was seen trying to touch his maid’s private part during his birthday. The palace, of course, defended the man and claimed there was “no malice.” The maid “laughed” and besides, the president’s wife was present. FTW.

• Writer’s Quote Wednesday – Cowardice
• My mouth is an open wound for the flies

Books I’ve read…

I’ve only managed to finish three books this month:

• Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
• Famous Tales of Mystery and Horror by Edgar Allan Poe
• Love and Misadventure by Lang Leav (re-read)

As for my book haul, I’ve finally got a copy of Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita (Php390 @purplephcloset)

Some bookish thoughts:

• Book Talk: Portrait of a scared reader
• Quick Notes: Famous Tales of Mystery and Horror by Edgar Allan Poe

Places I’ve been…

My friends and I had another sea to summmit experience this month. We spent a weekend camping in a not-so-know mountain in Naga. Though I have nothing against sharing beautiful hiking/camping spots with others, I think it’s not ready for everyone yet. Like it or not, there will be irresponsible people who abuse nature. We need to continue reminding ourselves proper outdoor etiquette.

Respect nature and wildlife. Take your trash with you.

Now, moving onto April….

Book Talk: Portrait of a scared reader

Do you have a book that scares you? It could be of any genre but mostly it’s horror or suspense thrillers that raise some hairs.

Five years ago, on this day, I found and bought this book in Booksale (SM City Cebu). Fast forward to 2021, I still have not finished it.

Why? Nightmares — every. single. time. i. read. it.

I am a sucker for crime thrillers, books or movies. Give me gore, give me blood, give me mystery (so long as there is no paranormal involved). I also love watching and researching true crime stories. I am passionately interested in what goes into the mind of the mad. So, my experience with Cornwell’s Portrait of a Killer honestly came as a surprise. I’ve had countless attempts of continuing the book which resulted to countless of nighttime terror too.

By 2018, I gave up. It’s not about Cornwell’s writing (I am a big fan of her Scarpetta series by the way). It’s just that the scanned letters, the sketches, the newspaper clippings and the police reports — they all felt so close. It’s different when you’re watching things on the screen. Touching the pages with my hand felt like Jack the Ripper breathing on my nape.

Will I ever get over this book? How do you deal with such fear? Hmm…

Wrap-Up | February 2021

February was indeed a month of love. I’ve had 28 days of happiness and momentary peace despite my writing and reading life turning not as productive as I originally planned. From Valentine’s Day to my birthday to my best friend’s wedding —  life has been great overall.

Here’s a quick wrap-up of the month that was.

Things I’ve written…

• Chances Are
• Heavy by Mary Oliver
• A Letter to Fanny Browne by John Keats

Books I’ve read…

I intend to read all three books in my vintage classic box set (Secret Garden, Little Women, Alice in Wonderland) this month, but life happened wonderfully so I only got to finish Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women.

I have started Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland but that will have to carry over this March.

And, who would have thought, I got no book haul this month too! HAHA. My pockets are smiling from ear to ear. I did receive Lang Leav’s Love and Misadventure as a birthday gift from a friend.

Places I’ve been…

Maria finally went out of town to get a taste of nature’s best this month. To celebrate Valentine’s Day and my birthday, my friends and I went to the northwestern part of Cebu. It was a sea to summit experience, filled with laughter and joy.

Read more of our trip here: Tuburan Escapade: Better than your chocolate-and-flowers kind of date

I’ve also had my first day hike of 2021 on the last day of the month. James, Chiarra and I went to everyone’s go-to hiking spot, the Spartan Trail. What a way to end the very special February!

Now, let’s go march to March! 😀

Chances Are

Chances are the water’s shallow
Chances are the water’s deep
Youth outgrown yet still a callow
Cowed to silence, afraid to leap
Her heart’s atwitter — a jumbled prose
Wind blows, her mind’s split
Stuck between dabbling her toes
Or simply plunging right into it

Photo via Unsplash

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Sharing this very first poem I wrote for this year. It’s a small piece that carries my worries about life and writing. I took long break from both — spent almost half of 2020 floating, waking up to aimless days, switching between concern and indifference about the world. For a while, “seize the day” felt so distant when you have very little to seize. Thankfully, time and time again, I am reminded by something or someone to focus on the little things that truly matter.

Here’s to better days! 😊💛

Wrap-Up | January 2021

How time flies! I cannot say that January was a great start for 2021, but it was definitely a good one for me. I’ve had my own share of ups and downs, and I’m glad most of us made it through the month safe and healthy.

But before I welcome the very special February, here’s a quick look back:

Things I’ve written…

When I started the year, I promised myself that I’d go back to writing poetry. And I did, though I haven’t published any of them yet. In the next few days or weeks, I will gladly share them to my little community here in WordPress. For now, here are throwback posts from last month…

• Click
• Let me have happy instead
• A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe

Books I’ve read…

I have spent January with one book: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Volume II. For the whole month, I have been Sherlocked and have rambling about this fine detective and his adventures. YAY!

More books have been added to my growing “shelfish” family too. My December order (a treat from my 13th month pay) arrived this month and I couldn’t be happier. I got these some awesome novels from Book Duke:

• The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood (Php180)
• Bend Sinister by Vladimir Nabokov (Php340)
• Under Western Eyes by Joseph Conrad (Php100)
• Vintage Classic Box Set (Secret Garden, Little Women, Alice in Wonderland) Php660

Meanwhile, my official book haul for January are:

• The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood (Php80 @workingmoms22)
• The Red Tent by Anita Diamant (Php120 @workingmoms22)

Here are some bookish thoughts from last month, too:

• Quick Notes: The Hound of Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
• Book Talk: Tsundoku in times of “addutucart”
• Book Review: Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Places I’ve been…

My hiking friends and I were finally able to spend the weekend in the mountains of Toledo. We camped at Tagaytay Hills, the very first mountain I’ve visited in Cebu. It was very foggy with light rain, but still we enjoyed our quick escape. Here’s a short video from CJ Estrada to give you an idea:

An that’s it for the recap! See you again after a month. May February be in our favor. 😁