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DoodleScribbles

Scribblings and scrawls of a hopeless romantic soul

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Poetry and Prose

Solitudine

“Make yourself happy—
not to validate people but
because you simply want to.”

I hope you learn to enjoy the company of yourself first. To not cringe at the thought of being alone. To have the best days of your life in solitary walks. In sunrises and silence. Moonlit nights or perhaps lazy afternoons.

I’m not talking about the I’m-fine-being-alone-I’d-rather-be-by-myself kind of solitude either. I heard you countless of times. Still, I keep seeing that sad look in your eyes. That feigned smile.

Solitude is beautiful and you need not degrade it. It is a choice, not a defense mechanism. So go on and do what you’ve been itching to do. Make yourself happy — not to validate people but because you simply want to. Gain so much that by the time solitude leaves you at bay, you have a lot to give away. To them. To him. To her.
MS

 

 

 

Over and over. Again and again.

At some point in this lifetime, your life will turn upside down. You knees will wobble in chasing your dreams. Your fingers will tremble holding on to hope. Frustration will try to claw out of your throat as fear strangles you by the neck. Your heart will break— terribly. Crushed and trampled on by circumstances or people. You will see life from a shattered mirror and trust me when I say that you will seek the comfort of oblivion.

I have been there.

I turned to silence and locked myself away from the awful world. Noise has also been my recourse to shut the voices screaming in my head. I gave myself an escape only to find I was building a cage. It was empty even when I was in it.

Coelho once wrote that life has a way of testing a person’s will: either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once. I hope when you reach this point in your lifetime, you take a time to breathe. To take a step back. It’s okay to not know all the answers. It’s okay to swim in the ocean of confusion. It’s okay to fall. So take all the time you need to get those knees back up. Those hands ready to grip. And that heart? Remember that it is everything broken and glued back together.

Over and over. Again and again.

Vignette: Lured

you make me feel
like this is where i belong:
right by your side

It was more than your charm that lured me in. It was your mystery— the way you make my mind wander and wonder. The way you make me a changed person evey single day I spend with you. The way you make me feel like this is where I belong: right by your side. 🍃

Snippet: (Non)sensical ruminations

always, beautiful, beauty, boy, couple, forever, girl, hug, love, lovely, night, sky, stars, together

“Death might be life in prison”
I wonder what you’d say when I tell you this.

Last night, I carved a path out of this carnal flesh
Wanting to leave the world behind—
Thoughts, feelings
Images, emotions
Flickering like jeers from far-off constellations

Death, this world has too many body bags
And the irony that prison has become a safer place is a shame

Between us, I was the lesser WHY-person
And you were the one with the bigger questions
Transcending physics to the realm of extraordinary things
While I was lost in poetry and daydreams

Detached from the physical body
Passing through astral planes and realities
Talking about death and life
A skeptic and a believer at the same time—
This is how we’ll make love

“Death might be life in prison”
I wonder what you’d say when I tell you this, love.
MS

 

A Sunrise Vignette

I remember the first sunrise that I wished to have seen with you. It was glorious and warm and almost perfect. Almost— because I wanted you by my side. And that one time when the sky was painted with a light shade of pink, I thought you would have loved it. You said it reminded you of the blush on my cheeks. I remember that beautiful Rayleigh, too. That early morning when the eastern sky was a soft blend of purple and blue. The air was cold and I missed the comfort of your hug. God, I lost count of the times I fell for sunrises and the thoughts of you. When will you come back?

We are all stars

Each day, we wake up consciously or unconsciously wondering which version of us this concrete world will accept. We tiptoe our way on the streets. We watch what we say or do— or not do. Perhaps this is why many prefer the silence of solitude, the earthy smell of mountains, the lapping of waves. Mankind think too much, trying to turn life into one big stage. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But one thing is for sure, we are not in for an audition. We are all stars.

Here’s to beating our Monday blues. ☕️

Octaves

IMG_5381

I always get in trouble with octaves. My fingers are not designed to stretch out far enough and I end up with pain at every single attempt. The tune they make is clumsy either and I stumble on each cascading key. I remember, once, my tutor told me to slow down and to not make haste. To stop trying too hard to reach the keys because only time, he said, can tell when I’m ready. My fingers will learn the rhythm like  a heartbeat and if they still can’t stretch, I must not give up.  The piano has 88 keys and a hundred more possibilities.

I had to laugh. I thought we were only talking about octaves.


It’s a rainy holiday season here in PH and the bed weather pulled the keyboard and I closer these days. I still find it a challenge though to play with octaves. Haha. Them little hands. So here goes something. 🙂

Amidst All Chaos

Amidst all chaos, you will find her standing at the intersection. Staring blankly at the come and go’s, the to and fro’s. A girl who became too tired to take a step and to observe the traffic lights for she had followed them a hundred times before. Only to be left a fool.

Stop. Ready. Go.

When you find her, you will see all the signal lights in her eyes. You will hear about the stops she took just because the world said she can’t. And that she mustn’t. On how her voice faded into silence because she listened to the whining siren of the people instead to the beat of her heart.

You will hear about the times she spent waiting for the light to signal ready. On how she whispered to herself with fists clenched, “Yes, you can.” On how long she waited for a hint that love is ready for her and that she is ready for love. But it never came.

You will hear about the crash. On how she braved to cross the highway despite her trembling knees but no matter how cautious she was, some people just came speeding through with a blaring light. And she was left to do the only thing she can— she faced the blow head on.

Amidst all chaos, you will find her standing with a bag full of messy past. Staring blankly at the come and go’s, the to and fro’s. A girl who longs to break the rules and, for once, set her own course. When you find her, you will have the choice to leave. But amidst all her chaos, she waits for someone who will have the guts stay.

Stop. Ready. Go.
MS


From one hopeless hopeful romantic to another, hope you enjoy it. See you at the intersection! 😉

 

Breathe, Then Move Along

On some days you will find yourself on the edge of a cliff. Your hands will be holding on to nothing but the rough and sharp boulders that will only leave you with callouses and wounds. Your knees will tremble at the thought of falling. Of failing. And that every single cell in your body will be in a crazy delirium.

On these days, I want you to take a deep breath. To feel the warmth of the sun. To let the wind tease your hair. Listen to the silence and hear the beat of your heart. It’s probably beating too fast but it will slow down if you give it a little time. Breathe.

And then move along. If you must walk or run or crawl on fours, do it. You will be scared. You will be scarred. But isn’t that how we grow? Let the callouses be your pride and the wounds be your drive. Be the trembling mess standing bravely at the edge of life.

‘Neath the gloomy sky
Leaves sway to the wind’s rhythm—
Blow your fears away
MS


Waking up on the right side of the bed, here’s a little haibun to kiss away our Monday blues. Have a great week everyone! 😀

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