Written for Mind and Life Matters’ Limerick Challenge Week 5: Pain
And her eyes were like the clouds shedding tears
A cumulus of heartaches, pains, and fears
Tears rolled down like droplets of rain
Hiding beneath the smile she feigns
A silent scream, deep down, nobody hears
It is painful enough to have a silent scream but to have to put up a smile to hide it, is even more agonizing. Some people fake a smile because they have no one to turn to, some people fear that they’ll be misunderstood, while some would rather keep the suffering to themselves than be a burden to anyone else. Oftentimes, it’s a tug-of-war between breaking down and faking smile.
So, today, I hope we find time to let it go. Let it all go, even just for a minute. Don’t try to hold it in. Cry, scream, drop the fake smile. And then breathe, take a deep one. 🙂
February 2, 2016 at 6:50 am
Do beautifully written! This is a true scenario for so many people, that’s just heartbreaking!
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February 2, 2016 at 10:01 am
Ouch. Heart-piercing, yet so true. The pain is raw. Greatly done. Maria.
P.S.
Just a suggestion, in second line, “A cumulus…” you can make pain , pains so that they will all be in plural form, thus the statement will be parallel. 🙂
Nonetheless, this is a great poem! 😀
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February 2, 2016 at 10:53 am
Awwee… Aren’t you my angel? Yes, that does makes sense. 😀 Thanks a lot, Rosema. I have just updated it. 🙂 🙂
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February 2, 2016 at 3:20 pm
Yes, I am because you’re mine, too! 😀
YAY! I hope it is fine with you. I mean, me critiquing your work. 🙂 Please do the same with me. ❤
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February 2, 2016 at 4:49 pm
YAY! No, I don’t mind at all. I appreciate it, actually. Since I don’t have anyone to critique my work. 😀 Aaaand, I tend to look at things subjectively and may overlook some details like a story’s structure. I’ll gladly do the same but I doubt I’ll be doing that often. You’re already doing great with your work! 🙂 🙂
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February 2, 2016 at 5:03 pm
Oh I do that, too! I usually post in a haste and miss some mistakes, mostly grammar errors and spelling! HAHAH (Guilty, yes!)
And I would be delighted if you pinpoint my mistakes. 🙂 (NOt joking, dear!) 😀
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February 3, 2016 at 11:13 am
I pledge guilty, too. Haha. Yeah, let’s guide & help each other, that would great! 🙂 🙂
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February 3, 2016 at 1:31 pm
At least we admit it! 😀 Looking for more constructive notes from you, and expect it from me, too! 😉
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February 3, 2016 at 3:33 pm
YAY! 🙂 🙂
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February 5, 2016 at 10:29 am
❤
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February 3, 2016 at 12:11 am
The Limerick is wonderful and the whole post is fantastic! You’re right, we shouldn’t hold our pain in. We need to let it out and not have it festering inside of us.
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February 3, 2016 at 11:30 am
YAY! I’m glad you like it, PJ. 😀 I agree. Sometimes all we need is a good cry. It may not change everything right away but it’s a good start. 🙂 🙂
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February 3, 2016 at 11:32 am
I have always felt “cleansed” after a good cry. It was a good feeling.
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February 3, 2016 at 12:08 pm
I’ve felt that too. It’s like unloading all those heavy burdens inside and it feels so good to breathe right after. 🙂
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February 3, 2016 at 9:13 pm
Yes, it feels like it cleanses the insides. 🙂
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February 4, 2016 at 4:58 am
Oof. Your words hit me like an arrow. So poignant and so true. I hope you take your own advice as well!
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February 4, 2016 at 12:28 pm
Thank you! Glad the arrow hit another soul. 😀 Yes, I do. Will always do.
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February 6, 2016 at 5:47 am
Congratulations Maria. 🙂
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February 6, 2016 at 10:53 am
Thank you, thank you Ranu. 🙂 🙂
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